75

I have 75 days until my birthday. I can’t decide how I feel about it now that the day is drawing closer; I can’t tell whether I’m excited or sad or nervous or depressed or thankful, or maybe a combination of all of those. I do know that my timeline is running short with all the things I have left to accomplish on my 30 by 30 list. I gotta get crackin’ on some of those (not that I’m throwing in the towel, but I’m pretty sure some of them are just NOT gonna happen, no matter how hard I try).

On another note, I’ve been trying really hard the last couple weeks to be extra motivated at work, to continue to prove that I am worthy of having a job here (because I really do love it). I still feel like no matter how hard I try to do/be better (being more productive/proactive, getting to work on time, volunteering for things outside of my job description), I feel like I’m never doing enough. I feel like I get way more criticism than praise and, on top of everything else going on in my personal life, it’s hard to be motivated to come to work to a place where  (not only do I have subpar monetary compensation) I don’t feel like the work I do really matters. Does anyone else ever feel this way? Don’t get me wrong, I still L-O-V-E my job, the work I do, the people I work with, etc, but maybe I just feel a little burned out. And I know I’ve had lots going on in my life that have been distracting too, so I’ll take some of the heat, that’s fair, but there’s also such thing as grace, right? Maybe it’s just a phase. Maybe once I can cross some of these “Mt. Everest” jobs off my list that will provide some relief. Or maybe I just needed to vent.

Anyone else suffering with GERD? Anyone else hate the name as much as I do? It’s bad enough to tell people that the acid in my stomach is slowing eating away at my esophagus, but seriously… GERD?! Come on. Anyway, I think it may just be the death of me. If it doesn’t get better soon… I don’t know what I’m gonna do, but it’s not gonna be pretty. I can tell you that much.

Sorry for the pity party today. I’m just in a bit of a slump, and doing my darnedest to get out it (including venting all my problems on my blog, lucky you). :)

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3 Responses to “75”

  1. Jen Says:

    I watched this today when I got home from an exhausting, emotional day at work and I felt better – something about the idea of smashing things made me smile :) …Then I read your blog and thought you might need a little Daniel Powter as well.

    You’re great JennaB!

    • Jenna Says:

      That was hilarious. I just about died when the one guy jumped across the desk and attacked the other one. Thank you.

  2. Becky Says:

    the ponies. those ponies, they just laugh at what you say. Those ponies…

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